part one
She had been waiting for two hours beneath the fluorescent lights and the drone of the eerily omniscient PA system. It always felt like she was in a scene from Orwell's 1984 when she spent any time in the airport. Everyone rushing and shuffling, guided by the orotund voice of departures and arrivals - all knowing, all powerful. In charge of your life for the time you spent in its presence.
The plane was scheduled to arrive at 5 am, but a fog delay pushed it back an hour, and then another. Each minute crept along like a day in its entirety, frenetic and tiring. Her legs had cramped from being curled up in the plastic seat in the terminal, awaiting his arrival. They hadn't been apart this long since they'd found their way back to each other almost one year before and she was anxious to see him again.
He had taken an early retirement from the Council and moved back to Sunnydale with her. A new crop of Watchers had been enlisted and initiated, put on active duty. But he'd been called back to England to work with the Council on a project here or there - strictly as a consultant. Though his affiliation with Watcher's Council tried him exhaustively, threatened his Slayer and the lives of his friends, and occasionally questioned his abilities - at times they exalted and honored him. And that was the tie that bound him. His father's legacy. The torch that had been passed to him - the tradition he was fated to carry on. The Council was bound to him eternally - like an actor who hasn-t worked in 35 years is still referred to as "Oscar-winner" so-and-so. It was part of him and always would be.
Most of the time she went with him, relishing the vacation time spent at the sprawling Giles' Estate, its vast expanse acre upon acre of rolling greens and sun-kissed gardens. Her days there were spent riding Tara Belle, the white stallion Giles had given her during their first visit to England together. Giles had named Tara, certain that Willow would approve. She rode her at a gallop from sunrise to sunset, until her thighs ached, exploring the grounds where he had grown up, tirelessly hunting for evidence of the memories he'd recalled so vividly to her. Her nights were spent in awe amidst the extensive collection of books in the library down the hall from their room, often making love with him on the cool ceramic tile, the Giles' family crest beneath their writhing bodies, its border like a sacred circle around them.
She wanted to go this time, not just to be with Giles, but to see the place she had come to know as her second home. And he wasn't sure he'd last three days without her. But this particular trip was scheduled to last four weeks and they had just opened a new Magic Shop before he was called. Someone needed to mind the store, so she stayed behind. Still, she was afraid the shop would fail without his business sense, afraid she would weaken around all the charms and herbs and revert to her old Wiccan ways, afraid he would realize that he'd made a huge mistake by starting a life with her and he'd never return from England. Note to self - Thursday, 10:15, Dr. Walsh - abandonment and failure issues - gotta work on 'em.
Nights had grown so lonely without him. Their bed, cold and comfortless without his soul to embrace her. She wrapped herself in his sweater before she slept, the lingering cologne dizzying her mind and tugging on her heart strings. It provided little, if any, consolation, but it sure kept her warm.
They spoke several times a day by phone, but often those conversations were cut short by customers in the store, or Council meetings he was needed in. No matter how often, though, a phone call just wasn't enough. She needed tangible Giles, not elusive Giles. She just wanted to see him again, to hold him, and the flight delay, though only two hours, meant that she had to wait some more.
Her anxiety had reached its peak at around 6:45 a.m. and by 7 she had crashed and dozed off in her seat. A dream had taken her under quickly, her eyelids dancing wildly in REM as he approached.
He lay his bag down and stood back a moment, taking in every lovely feature he'd missed so dearly. Giles settled down in the seat next to her, stroked the underside of her chin and placed a delicate kiss on her lips. It was the sound of his voice that roused her from sleep as he sat with his hands holding hers and his lips whispering close to her ear, " Wake up, love. I'm home."
She turned to kiss him, her eyes closed tightly as she peered into the future a few hours to when she would welcome him home properly. Her hands grew restless bound by his, so desperate to embrace him.
He stood and brought her delicate frame with him, her arms around his neck, her lips never leaving his. As her body slid down the front of him, he exaggerated the motion and bent her backwards in an old 1940's Technicolor movie kiss. She shivered every time he did this, it made their love so grand and majestic - so much larger than their little life in Sunnydale.
She broke their kiss but held tight to him, her face buried in the crook of his neck, inhaling his cologne and soaking up the chi that flowed from him. His soul made hers dance - she had been stifled without him for weeks. "I have missed you so much." There were tears in her eyes. "I even bought a ticket to see you two weeks ago." He drew his head back slightly and raised an eyebrow in question before she finished, "Obviously I didn't use it."
"Sadly," he corrected.
Giles loosened his grip, he was afraid they'd be in the airport forever if one of them didn't have the strength to let go. He smiled and cradled her face in his hands, his thumbs drying the tears from her eyes. "I have missed you, too." His forehead gracefully met hers as he inhaled her sweetness into his lungs. "So, so much," he added before kissing the space between her eyes, and then the tip of her nose, and finally her lips. "Let's go home."
They turned to walk away but stopped abruptly. They were being watched. Ironic - The Watcher being watched.
She stood only a foot away from them, mouth agape, eyes searching their faces and bodies for the reassurance that it was, in fact, Giles and Willow. Her hair was shorter, blonder even, and her demeanor more timid than before, but their hearts stopped at the sight of her.
"Buffy?" Willow didn't know how to begin.
part two
Willow froze, her emotions running rampant through her system. She didn't know whether to shake Buffy's hand or give her a hug. Neither seemed appropriate. Did I even say hello ? She was obsessing. There just wasn't a simpleanswer - nothing would be right.
Giles immediately wrapped the Slayer in his arms and planted a fatherly kiss on her cheek. "Buffy? My God. It's good to see you." He held herfor a moment, her embrace a gentle reminder that once, not too long ago, his life served a purpose in hers. But his pride had kept him from her, and the time passed had turned them into strangers. Too much time had gone by. "It's been too long," he confessed and released his hold on her. The Watcher stepped back to his place and instinctively wrapped his arm around Willow. However much pain he felt, he knew Willow's was greater.
"Wow. Wasn't quite sure that it was you two, what with the groping and all." Buffy was still Buffy, quippy and distant. This was more than a little awkward for all parties involved, and the tension mounted in the air. Willow felt betrayed, like Buffy had never really forgiven her for the bad mojo trip she took. Xander and Dawn took it a little easier than Buffy, but the Slayer had pulled back from Willow, their friendship strained for a long time before it finally dissipated. "So, you guys are... together ?" Buffy asked, trying not to sound so shocked, but failingmiserably.
Willow beamed - she wanted to shout it from the mountaintops, or at least over the PA system: Giles loves me . She controlled her inner voice and simply shook her head affirmatively and subtly leaned closer toGiles.
"When? How?" Buffy wasn't sure she wanted to know. After all, Willow never returned phone calls from Buffy, even though Buffy made several attempts to reach her. And Giles...he left for England and never looked back. So why did Buffy even bother to stop and talk to them? They said goodbye too easily before, they didn't bother to call or write - not even an email. So what compelled her to stop after all these years? She wasn'tsure, she just knew she had to.
Giles squeezed Willow tighter, a simple act that he knew would reassure herin case Buffy's reaction to their relationship had brought up any doubtin Willow's mind. "About a year, now," Giles happily reported. As much as he wanted to heal old wounds and smooth things over with Buffy, he was exhausted from his flight and really wanted a long bath, a hot cup of tea, and a decent shag with his woman. "Buffy, there's so much to catch up on. Why don't you join us for dinner tomorrow evening."
Willow jumped in, "Yeah, Buffy - please come. We have so much to talk about - so much to catch up on. How's Dawn?"
Buffy smiled, glad that her friends weren't completely wrapped up in themselves for a change. "Dawn's great, thanks for asking. She talks about you guys all the time, though - not as a couple. But ... still .... she misses you." She was extremely edgy, this was really making her uncomfortable. "She graduated from UC Sunnydale in the spring and she's..." Something stopped her from telling Giles and Willow that she was there to pick up Dawn. Maybe it was her pride, maybe it was her hurt feelings. Either way, she just decided to change the subject. "Listen, guys...thank you...for the invite..." After all these years she still spoke in thatstilting, insecure manner, "But I can't make it tomorrow. I'm.... We're ...busy."
Both Giles and Willow felt that their old friend was distant and didn't seem to be interested in catching up. Old wounds. It would take time, but Buffy had to be interested in healing and repairing their friendship before the lines of communication would open up again. "Well, you'll call, then, when you have some time?" Giles said and handed Buffy a business card that he had pulled from his breast pocket.
She took it and dropped it into her purse without even looking at it. "Yeah...sure....I'll give you a call and we'll...catch up." She smiled awkwardly and then leaned in to hug her former mentor "Well it was good to see you." She moved to Willow for a quick hug, "You, too." She backed away andsaid, "Good luck. With .. uhm.... this? " she was referring to their relationship.
"Thank you," Giles responded for the both of them.
And with that it was over. Before Giles knew it he was in the car with top down and the California wind whipping through his hair, Willow asleep onhis shoulder. How I've missed you, love, he softly said as hekissed her forehead, his eyes never leaving the road.
~~~~~~~~
It had been about three hours since she left him asleep on the couch, drained from his travels and, undoubtedly, their passionate reunion. They made it back from the airport by 8:30 and by 9:00 Willow had already welcomed him home... twice .
It was almost lunch time and she wrestled with the idea of calling to wake him. He looked so peaceful after he dozed off that she decided to open the store alone this morning. Giles would be exhausted and there was no reason for him to be there today, though she knew he was eager to return to work.
She had grown very comfortable running the store in his absence. It was empowering to assist so many people with their Magic. Customers constantly sought her advice on everything from love spells to potions, candlesto books. In a very small way, it was redemption for her - teaching others the good uses of Magic - imparting her wisdom on so many who needed guidance.
The store was empty, so she decided to slip into the back and check on someinventory. If anyone entered, the bell above the door would sound. And if any- thing entered, the protection spell she shrouded the storein would alarm her instinctively.
The storage room reminded her of the stacks in the library back at Sunnydale High. It was a small room that held basic supplies. Anything that could cause real damage was kept at home under lock and key. They had decided to do their part for humanity and require a special order for certain things, much like one would be required to wait 24 hours before purchasing a hand gun. It wasn't a question of legality, but it was their prerogative.
A new shipment had just arrived earlier that morning and she was determinedto have it unpacked and on the shelves before she left for the day. She heard a noise from the front of the store. The bell never sounded, her mystical bell never did, either. It was doubtful anyone had entered, but she went to check.
She stepped out of the store room through the heavy, red velvet curtain Giles had decided to hang instead of a door. He insisted it made the place look more authentic, like the inside of a tarot reader's room - lavish materials and sparkling crystals. She knew it was because of his thing for velvet. Naughty boy , she thought as she stepped through.
The room was silent and eerily still. Something inside of her fluttered,not so much a warning sign, but more like a notification like " You've got mail, " only it was " You're being watched." She froze, her eyes scanning the room for shadows or movement.
Nothing happened, but she couldn't shake the feeling. Her legs carried her cautiously toward the front door. Nobody had come in, the bell was securely in place and it would have rung if it had been disturbed. After abrief look around outside, she closed the door behind her and headed for the back room again.
She stepped through the curtain into darkness and her heart began pounding wildly as a hand clamped over her mouth and an arm snaked around her waist from behind and pulled her tight to its body. She screamed, the sound stifled in her mouth, her pulse racing and her body writhing, trying to pull away from her captor.
"Love, love - calm down, it's just me," he whispered in her ear as she struggled in his embrace a moment longer before relaxing.
" Mrrlklldnna...anndndnre..ldjkrdjkkjfl...asdfadsfdja " she was givinghim hell, he could imagine, though he didn't understand her words as she grunted behind the wall of his hand.
"Are you calm?" he whispered in her ear.
Her breathing had slowed as well as her pulse. She exhaled deeply beforehe moved his hand away from her mouth, pulling tighter on her body in the dark. "Not funny," she offered up.
Giles leaned in and spoke softly in her ear, "It wasn't supposed to be funny. It was supposed to be sexy," he began kissing the nape of her neck, working his way up to her ear again, "Sorry..."
She turned in his embrace and wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him, her body guiding his back against the wall. Her hands searched the wall for the light switch and she threw it on in the middle of their passionate kiss, "You're in big trouble, mister."
She looked at him with both eyebrows raised, "You think that's sexy? Being attacked in the dark by some slimy, monster thingy."
"Now, wait just a minute. First of all - I'm not a monster, clearly." Hepulled her close again so that their noses almost touched, "And second, I thought it would be fun. You know, here - in the dark. Love with a proper stranger."
"What have you been doing in England? I'm sooooo going with you next time," she said and softened in his embrace.
"Missing you terribly, my darling." He kissed her softly, his mouth moving from her lips to her neck before he embraced her tightly and lifted her off the ground in his arms. What a feeling - this beautiful woman in hisarms. She loved the way he held her so close, so tight in his embrace, full of so much love as he enveloped her completely, his heartbeat poundingon her chest like a bass drum.
"I'm glad you're home," she whispered as he let her down. "I didn't wantto wake you because you were so exhausted this morning."
He let go of her and walked over to the table where she had been working, "Thank you for that." The books and supplies on the table caused him to look at her in question.
"Um. Willow?"
"Yes," she said, her nose now in a box inspecting its contents.
"What on earth are we going to do with all this mandrake root?"
She giggled, "Oh. Well - it's going like hotcakes. Must be the Harry Potter books or something, 'cause everyone has been asking for it these past two weeks. I can't keep it on the shelf."
"Oh," he said in his stuffy, British way, "I see." Clearly he was perplexedby this phenomena. He moved on to another box and instead of unpacking it, asked Willow what was in it, "And what's in here?"
"Harry Potter books," she said and smiled coyly.
"Yes, of course," he conceded.
She walked past him on her way to the front of the store, "It's our place, remember? We're doing this together? Right?" She tossedhim one of those pouty, sexy Willow smiles and stopped in front of him.
"Yes, it is." He ran a finger down the side of her face before smoothing back her hair. "And it sounds wonderful when you say it."
" Our place ," she coaxed, inviting him for one final kiss. He smiled and complied, happily.
When Willow broke through the curtain she noticed a little girl standing, gazing into a crystal ball that stood on the high counter. "Hello?" Willow said and put her box down, stepped toward the girl, and bent down on her knee to look the girl in the eye.
She was four or five years old with beautiful blond ringlets and the bluesteyes Willow had ever seen. "Hi, there. Are you lost?"
A voice from behind Willow said, "No."
Willow stood and turned around and was, once again, shocked by the sight ofa Summers girl. "Dawnie?" She wasn't sure how this reunion would go after the meeting with Buffy earlier that day. "Hi, how are you? Are you ok?"
"I'm fine." She was just as standoffish as Buffy was. "I just..." Dawn moved to the little girl and picked her up. "I have to go." Dawn walked toward the front door.
"Wait, Dawn." Willow walked after her. "Please don't leave."
Dawn reached the front door and stopped, sighed and turned back to Willow with the little girl on her hip, "Why didn't you call? Why didn't Giles call us? What happened? Were you too wrapped up in your own lives to fit us in? How could you leave us like that? Alone?"
Willow had no idea what she was talking about, "What? I...I...we tried, Dawnie. But Buffy...."
Dawn corrected her "It's Dawn. I'm not 14 anymore." She shook her head, "Buffy tried. You never called, you never came to see us. Giles left for England and didn't bother to write. Not even a Christmas card??? Do youhave any idea how much that hurt? Do
you ?"
Willow had no idea what to say. Buffy was the one who drove her away. It didn't happen like Dawn was saying. "Dawnie...Dawn," she corrected, "I don't know what..."
Before she finished Dawn turned and stormed out, unwilling to listen to Willow any longer.
She stood at the door and just watched Dawn walk out. Something was wrong, seriously wrong. Why were they all so angry at her? She didn't do anything. It was Buffy. Maybe Dawn didn't know. Maybe Buffy never told her. It didn't matter, Willow was upset and started crying.
Giles walked up behind her and turn her to face him when he realized she was crying, "What's wrong, love? What is it?" His hands were on her shoulders, his knees slightly bent so that he looked her in the eyes, his own peering deep into her soul, searching for the answer himself.
"Dawn. Dawn was just here." Willow said.
"My God. Dawn. Where did she go?" He let go of Willow and opened the door, tore his glasses off and looked down the street, both ways, before returning to her and embracing her. "What happened, why are you so upset?"
"Giles, what the frilly heck going on? She was upset, like Buffy was today. Only - Buffy pretended she wasn't upset and Dawn - she gave it to mewith both barrels. And she had a baby with her...well, not a baby, morelike a kid. You don't think?"
Giles said, "Well, she is ... what .... twenty ... one? two? now." He scratched his head and looked back to the front door, as if the answer were written on it. "I don't know," he said and stepped toward her again. "Why don't you go and find Dawn. I'll close the store. Call me if anything happens."
"No," Willow said. "I'm not going after her. Not...no - she was too upset." She took a deep breath and sighed.
He put his arm around her and walked her back to the counter, "Why don't wego 'round tonight, after we close the store? We'll find out what's going on together."
"Together is good," she said. "I'll find out where they're living. I'm not sure she kept the house all these years."
"Of course," he said, and watched her disappear into the back room.
He removed his glasses again, cleaned them with the bottom of his shirt as he thought to himself, Things will only be worse, love, if Dawn sees me.
part three
Giles stood under the warm spray of the shower, the steam filling his lungs, the water washing all the tension from his tired, aching muscles. It had been a long day and his trip home had exhausted him. The residuals of his journey were just now leaving his body, and his mind. Though England was his first home, his heart and soul belonged here with Willow. And it felt good to be back.
When he finished he wrapped a warm towel around his waist and stepped out of the shower door, engulfed in a cloud of steam as he made his way to the bedroom.
She was at the window seat, her legs curled up, her chin leaning on her knees, distant and somber as she watched the sun drop below the horizon. He paused a moment before going to her, his heart telling him that they had a long night ahead of them. Old friends, old wounds, lots of apologies and, with any luck, reparations.
He tucked the towel tight into itself on the side of his hip and walked over to Willow, sat by her side and took her hand in his. She smiled, knowing that she couldn't do this without him. "It will be alright, I promise," he said, his voice soft and soothing as she met his gaze. "I'll go and dress, if you're ready?"
"Ready as I'll ever be," she said, unconvincingly.
He leaned in to kiss her, the tips of his hair leaving droplets of moisture on her face as he pulled away. She smiled when he stroked the side of her cheek and the tip of her nose, wiping away the water. "I'll be right back," he said and walked away.
Willow had done a little net research to see if Buffy still lived on Revello Drive. She could have just called someone, Xander, maybe, but she hadn't spoken to him in years, either. Maybe he didn't even see Buffy anymore, Willow had no way of knowing, so she chose not to call.
By the time they had pulled up out front, the butterflies in her stomach had gone ballistic and were wreaking havoc on her insides. "Giles, I don't know if I can do this." Her eyes were full, ready to flow at any time.
He took her hand in his, "Willow, I know we've never talked about this, but...why haven't you seen Buffy all these years? You told me that you just 'lost touch' with everyone, but I know you better. Something drove you away. It must have." His hands were warm and strong as he held hers, rubbing the crests of her knuckles with his thumb.
"Oh," she was a little taken aback. Hadn't they talked about this? That's odd. They'd been together so long, surely one of them would have mentioned it. Of course, she wouldn't have, it was too upsetting. And he...well - he was British. "I..." She shifted in her seat, her left leg bent and the knee and curled under her right. "Remember when I got back from England, after..."
"Yes, of course," he said. It was a rough time for everyone, especially Willow and Giles. He had brought her there to help her understand the Magic within her, teach her to use it wisely, the power she possessed. He cleared his throat and shifted uneasily. This seemed to bother him a little.
"Well. When I got back you know I moved in with Buffy and Dawn and things were fine...for a while. Buffy and Dawn were just getting back into a routine without Joyce. Xander and Anya were living together." She took a deep breath before continuing. "Well, one night...Dawn was out at a friends and Buffy came to me and asked if we could talk. She looked upset, so I thought something had happened with Dawn or Xander or something, but...she told me to leave. She said she had been pretending that she'd forgiven me for the things I did and she couldn't do it anymore. She said that my whole life with Tara disgusted her and she didn't think Dawn should be around me anymore. She said she was afraid that I would lose control again and hurt them. She said I was weak and that my existence just made things worse for her. She said that I never should have brought her back from..." her words trailed off, unable to finish her sentence.
"My God," Giles reached over and took her in his arms, peppering the top of her head with kisses as he stroked her hair. Her crying grew more intense when he comforted her. "Why didn't you call me, love?" He drew back and looked into her eyes, "I'm so very sorry you had to go through that alone. I wish I had been here for you."
She calmed down after a few moments, but she was flush and some Indian War Drums had taken up residence in the right side of her head, pounding behind the lens of her eye. Willow was always one for a good cry, but the residuals were hell. "I left that night, but I wanted to go back. After three months I still wanted to go back, every day, but I didn't. She said things to me that really hurt and I knew that no matter what I did or said it just wouldn't make up for the past, so I just tried to move on." Her pulse had slowed, her sobs gone altogether. "What about you? What happened?"
He took a deep breath, "Well. Actually, much the same as you. Only it was Dawn for me. Right after you left England, as a matter of fact." Both of them made the connection, but it passed too quickly. "Umm. One night Dawn called, crying, sobbing, damning me for leaving her and Buffy. I told her it wasn't an easy decision...that I'd thought long and hard about it and that Buffy was strong and could take care of her and that I was always just a phone call away. She said it wasn't fair that I left...that they wouldn't make it without me around. It broke my heart," his voice softened, "She told me that I had done everything wrong. That I let Glory hurt Tara and if I had been a better Watcher then Buffy would have been prepared and none of it would have happened. She also said that if I had been a better friend I would have been able to stop you - to help you before you hurt anyone." He gave a dismissive chuckle before adding, "She even mumbled something about Joyce's death and how I was, somehow, responsible." His eyes were unfocused as he relived the moment in his mind, "I dismissed it at first, assumed Dawn was just angry and would come to her senses. It even occurred to me that I may have been drunk that night. I gave it a few days and called Buffy. She apologized. She said she was sorry she hadn't told me herself how they both felt. She said I made the right choice when I decided to leave. That I was stifling her and that the two of them were better off without me. And...she didn't want to see me again." He met her gaze. "Ever."
"Get down!!!" Willow sunk in her seat, tugging on his arm. The sudden reaction to whatever it was she was hiding from put the kibosh on the somber moment they were sharing.
"What?" He asked as he sunk with her, feeling a bit slighted that her story ended with a kiss and a hug, and his ended on the floor of the car. A perfect example of why the British are so stuffy - every time they open up, something interferes.
They watched in the reflection of the glass and the rearview mirror as the front door to Buffy's house opened. "Who's that?" Willow was straining to see.
"Why are we hiding?" Giles asked.
"Not sure. I guess..." she turned her face to meet his as they slouched, nose to nose, on the floor of the car. "I guess I'm not ready to see her yet. Not after what you just told me. That doesn't sound like Buffy at all. Do you think maybe..."
"Is that Spike?" Giles took his glasses off and squinted at the mirror, the reflection too small for him to see for sure. "Oh, for Heaven's sake, I can't see a bloody thing."
"Yeah...I think it is. She's still with him?" It wasn't really a question, she was just thinking out loud. Willow was explaining what was going on for Giles. "Oh, they're kissing and...never mind." She smiled at Giles. "Now what?"
"I don't know, I can't see anything." He put his glasses back on and adjusted himself, trying to see what was going on.
"No, I mean now WHAT? Do we go in? Do we go home? What?" Willow was unsure.
"I mean - now that we're here." She clearly wanted to make an attempt to smooth things over with her old friend. "It was a long time ago. Maybe she doesn't feel the same way. And Dawn was so upset that I never called. Hey - wait a minute. She wanted to know why you never called." Willow looked at Giles.
"What?" Giles said, completely ignoring the fact that they were on the floor of their car like a couple of teenagers hiding from their parents.
"Today. In the store. She said that you never called. You just left for England and you never bothered to call them or contact them. Like you just forgot about them or something." Willow's wheels were turning. Something wasn't right.
"Oh, my God," Giles shook his head in disbelief, finally the pieces falling into place. "Come on," he and Willow started to get back up to their seats. As soon at they rose above the line of the window they jumped and screamed, startled to find Buffy standing at the car door, peering in at them.
"What are you doing?" Her words were muffled through the glass.
"Buffy! We..uh..." Giles was speaking quite loudly, as if he were talking to an old, deaf woman.
"We came to see you." Willow screamed, too, as she leaned across the seat and over Giles shoulder, trying to get a better view of Buffy.
The Slayer stood there, her eyebrows raised in disbelief at this ridiculous conversation they were having. Her hands were crossed over her chest, her body slouched slightly as she emphatically indicated with the glare of her eyes toward the window to Giles. It took him a moment, but he finally pressed the button that rolled it down, the motor humming and the glass squeaking like nails on a chalkboard and it disappeared into the car door. Once he finally realized it was the window she was motioning toward, he was quite proud of himself, and his smiled beamed as their barrier sunk lower and lower.
"Why don't you come in?" Buffy was sincere. Not upset. Still, things were a little awkward like their meeting at the airport, but she was honestly happy to see them this time. Maybe we can finally talk about things, she thought to herself. There's a lot I want to get off my chest.
"We'd love to," Willow said, squeezing Giles' hand for support before she stepped out of the car.
part four
Buffy sat in disbelief as she listened to Giles and Willow tell their stories. She knew they weren't lying to her, yet...she never did the things they said she did. "When was this again?" she asked sitting across from them in the living room. Willow and Giles both took notice that it was still decorated the same as it had been when they were in Buffy's life a million years before. Perhaps she had kept it that way to remember her mother. Comforting. Safe. Giles remember the warmth that Joyce's home always welcomed him with and sighed.
He leaned forward and ran his hand along the stubble on his cheek before he spoke.
"Shortly after Willow left England." He was deep in thought, wondering what could have possibly happened. If it was a plan to break up the group, then it worked, but ... what evil befell her after they broke up? None of them were dead. None had been turned into vampires. No apocalypse. No demons. No abnormal Hellmouth activity that he was aware of. So why then?
Willow jumped in, "Listen. I don't know what happened. We can sit here and talk about it forever but it won't get the time back - the time we've spent apart. I've missed you, Buffy. And Dawn. I can't believe we have been apart for so long. So, can we just move past this awkwardness ASAP?" she leaned forward and put a hand on Giles' knee as she continued, "Giles and I have been living together for a year, now. He's retired from the Council, but still maintains his position on consultant status. We just opened a new Magic Shop a few weeks ago, which you probably already know about 'cause Dawnie came to see us today." Willow realized that she never asked about the little girl who was with Dawn.
Just as she parted her lips to speak, the front door opened and she heard Dawn talking to the little girl, "I'm beat, kiddo - the carousel, the movie, the popcorn, the ice cream...you wore me out!" The child giggled as Dawn appeared in the frame of the door holding her hand.
As the girl caught sight of Buffy she ran over and jumped in her lap, "Mommy!!!"
"Ice cream???" Buffy said as she kissed the little girl and tickled her tummy.
Willow and Giles were frozen in their seats as they watched this exchange. Both of them felt remorse for having been away for so long, for having missed this part of Buffy's life.
"Honey, I want you to meet somebody. This is Mr. Giles. And this is Miss Willow." She met their gaze as she introduced her daughter. "This is Vivienne."
"Well, hello Miss Vivienne," Giles said and kissed the little girl's hand. She blushed and pulled back, half of her face buried in her mother's sweater as she peered at Willow with one shy eye.
"Very nice to meet you, Vivienne," Willow said and smiled.
Dawn made her way into the living room, "What are you two doing here?" She wasn't quite as upset as she had been earlier that day. But, she wasn't very welcoming, either.
Buffy jumped in, knowing it would be a long story and she didn't have the strength to go over it again. "Long story, Dawn. Would you mind helping this little rascal here get a bath and get to bed?" She tickled the little girl as she spoke and ended her sentence with a kiss. "Go with Aunt Dawn, ok? Mommy needs to talk to her friends."
"Ok, mommy. Good night." Vivienne jumped off of her mother's lap and walked around the coffee table and stood in front of Willow and Giles and said, "Goodnight, Miss Willow. Goodnight Mr. Giles. It was very nice to meet you." She giggled and took off like a shot toward Dawn and jumped into her arms.
Giles melted. His whole life with Buffy had passed before his eyes, from the minute she walked into that library at Sunnydale High until the minute he got on that plane and left for England. He'd been there through everything bad in her life, but how could he have missed the good?
A lump had formed in the back of Willow's throat. She was having trouble controlling her emotions. They had been on such a roller coaster ride today. For weeks, in fact, since Giles left. She had to deal with him being gone for so long, with their brief meeting with Buffy this morning that left them a little shaken, their meeting with Dawn that left Willow a lot shaken. It was too much.
Giles knew Willow was hurting, he was hurting himself. He reached over and kissed her on the cheek as he took her hand in his. They were connected in ways Willow never thought possible. He read her mind. She knew his soul.
Buffy had been watching her daughter run to Dawn, but when she turned back Willow was sitting straight up in her seat and looked like she had a lot to say. Buffy didn't let her, though, instead she decided to tell them, "She's Riley's. We're not together, though. Well...not now, anyway. He came back to Sunnydale for a while and moved in. We were married for about three months, and then...well, the military got in the way again. I just couldn't leave Sunnydale, so...he went without us. One thing about those government guys, they are loyal to their country." She paused and added, "Just not so good with their family." Her mind was wandering, she was lost in her thoughts for a moment. Perhaps of Riley. Perhaps of the past in general and how things used to be.
"Buffy, I am so sorry that I wasn't here for you. For this." Giles said.
"I can't believe you have a daughter. I mean...we used to talk about this stuff all the time. I just ... I... I don't know what to say." Willow shook her head.
"It's ok, Will. I'm a little speechless right now, too." Buffy looked Giles square in the eyes. It hurt that Willow was away for so long, but Giles being gone just made her feel like she was completely abandoned. He left her when she needed him most. Only ... he didn't leave. He did, but he thought that she had done things and said things she hadn't.
"Giles, any ideas on what happened? It's been so long, is there even a way to research it? Not like I'm looking for revenge or anything, I'd just like to make sure I'm aware of all my enemies." She gave a dismissive chuckle, "Which seems to be a lot these days."
Willow thought back to the night she had left. "Buffy, I was talking to you. You came to me. You stood upstairs, in this house and asked me to leave. Maybe you were under a spell, maybe you were hypnotized or something." Willow turned her attention to Giles. She was suddenly unsure of what had happened, the memories were fuzzy and distant. "At least I think it was you," she said.
"Yes, it's quite possible that she was bewitched. Or maybe it wasn't even Buffy at all. There are a number of explanations. Shape-shifters, for example" Giles said. "Buffy, you don't remember any of this?" He was immediately back in Watcher mode - wheels spinning, tapping into the far-reaches of his brain.
"No, nothing. I remember when you left, Will. I came back from patrol one night and you were gone." Buffy said. "I asked around about you, but nobody had heard anything. You never called, you never wrote." She looked at her friend, "I guess you wouldn't if you thought I said those things." Suddenly Buffy felt her insides swirling around, her pulse sped up. She had felt some of those things, to a certain extent. But she wouldn't have said any of it to Willow. "I'm really sorry that you had to hear those things come out of the fake-me's mouth."
"It's ok, Buffy." It really wasn't, but there was no point in dwelling on it.
"Oh, my God." Buffy said and sat up straight in her chair.
"What's wrong, Buffy?" Giles said.
"Xander," she said and paused, catching her Watcher's eye and then Willow's. "He left town after you disappeared, Will. I think Anya stayed, but we never talked." Buffy shook her head in disbelief that she hadn't seen it sooner. "I wonder what awful things he thinks I did to him."
Willow and Giles looked at each other. Willow said, "I'll find, him, Buff. Do you have a computer?"
part five
"I do," Dawn said from across the room. She had put Vivienne to bed and came back down to catch up with Giles and Dawn. She was still visibly upset, but at least made an effort. After all, these were the people she considered her family at one time. And family is something she and Buffy had been short on for years.
Her words startled everyone in the room, including Buffy. Buffy knew what had happened and why Giles and Willow and, possibly Xander, hadn't been in touch. But Dawn hadn't heard yet. Buffy could have let Willow and Giles tell the story, but she wanted to tell Dawn herself since they had survived it for so long together. "Dawn." Buffy said, welcoming her into the room.
"Hey, Dawn," Willow said trying so cautiously to get back in the girl's good graces. "Point me to it." She said and stood up, give Giles' hand a light squeeze before stepping away from him.
He smiled and silently thanked whatever force it was that brought him and Willow back into Buffy's life. 'Even if it is an evil force,' he thought to himself, 'and most likely it is.'
Buffy stopped Willow with a hand to her shoulder and asked, "Let me tell Dawn?"
Willow nodded and followed Dawn into the kitchen, wondering why they were headed that way.
"It's downstairs. I sort of turned it into a library after..." her word trailed off.
"Oh," Willow said, not wanting to mention it.
Dawn flicked on a light and started down the steps. "I turned into 'research girl' for Buffy... in between being 'college-girl' and 'babysitter-girl.'" She reached the bottom of the steps and turned to look up at Willow who was still only halfway down. "I kept some of your things...and some of Giles' things. If you want anything back, it's on the last bookshelf."
A mix of emotions surged through Willow. She was shocked that Dawn had kept anything after hearing the story Buffy had just told. There were too many things for Willow to say, so she settled on, "Thanks," and continued down the steps.
When she made it to the bottom she froze, in awe of the room. "Wow," she said, almost to herself and walked to the center of the room.
"Yeah," Dawn said, proud of her collection of books and weapons. "Spend a lot of time down here. Xander even expanded the basement for us before he...well....took off.....like you guys," she added softly.
"Dawn, I..."
"Don't. It's..." Dawn paused, "...it is what it is. I'll be fine." She stood with her hands folded across her chest, clearly uncomfortable. "So what do you need the computer for?"
She said and moved to the wall and pressed a button that Willow didn't even see. It was obviously hidden from the normal observer.
"To find Xander. Why don't you go and talk to Buffy. She'll explain," Willow said. Her eyes grew wide as the bookcase shifted and moved forward and folded onto itself, revealing a large room that looked bigger than the Initiative's headquarters. "Wow. You launching missiles from down here?" She asked.
"Not anymore," Dawn joked, dryly. "Had a lot of input from Riley on the whole 'covert' thing," She made quote marks in the air with her fingers as she emphasized the word 'covert.' "But then, well, he.....followed suit and took off like everyone else," she looked at Willow and felt remorse for driving the point home so many times. "I'm sure you can figure it out from here," she added and walked past Willow to the stairs. After a brief pause she left the room.
Giles found himself somewhat uncomfortable in Buffy's presence without Willow there to be a buffer. Never in his life did he think this moment would come. The 'awkward silence' moment. It must have been uncomfortable for both of them, because Buffy excused herself abruptly to check on Vivienne, leaving Giles alone in the living room.
He mindlessly flipped through a magazine as Willow's voice entered his mind. "Come to the basement and help me, give Dawn and Buffy some time alone to talk about things."
"I hate when you do that!" He said out loud, his tone very British.
"Do what?" The voices asked in unison as Buffy and Dawn each entered the room through the doors they originally exited.
"Oh, sorry..." Giles said, "Not you..." he said to Buffy, "...or you," he added, with a smile to Dawn. "Uhm....Willow?" He asked, standing up. He slipped back into the Giles Buffy had known when she first arrived in Sunnydale with his fidgeting and short bursts of one word sentences. It actually made her smile. It seemed like this was right and that he belonged with her and her family.
"Basement," Dawn said.
"Giles, why don't you go help her? Dawn and I need to talk," Buffy said.
"Of course," Giles said and headed toward the kitchen. He stopped when he reached Dawn and placed a hand on her shoulder, "It's good to see you again." It was painful for him, but he smiled. He knew the things that Dawn had thought about him and he felt horrible for it. There was just too much regret to filter through and he'd never be able to take it all back, so he had to look forward. Willow was right.
"Thanks," Dawn said. It wasn't in her to give him any more than that, yet. But deep inside, she wanted to throw her arms around him and cry. She had missed him so much. He was more of a father to her than her actual father had been, and it hurt a million times more when he left.
"I'll be downstairs, then, if you need me?" He always had question in his voice, it made him non-threatening and very unassuming.
He exited the room and walked through the kitchen and found the door to the basement.
As he descended the stairs he was taken aback by what he saw. It was quite a collection of things. He was very impressed that Buffy and Dawn had put this together. "My God," he said when he reached the bottom step.
"I know," Willow said. "Pretty amazing, huh?"
Giles instantly veered off the topic of the room and wrapped his arms around Willow's waist and gave her a soft kiss on the lips. "And how are you....hm?"
"Good.....awkward bordering on fine....with a slight touch of uneasy......but....it feels like things are gonna click with us. Dawn's gonna be the tough one to get used to...she's a grown-up, now." Willow said, relaxing in his arms.
"I know, but Buffy is speaking with her right now and after she hears what happened, it will be easier. I need some time alone with Dawn, but it's too soon," He said and squeezed Willow tighter and kissed her cheek before letting his grip loosen.
"Have a look at that shelf," Willow said, pointing to the one Dawn said had some of his things on it. "I'll be over here," she said and sat down at the computer.
Giles looked around the room, removing a book here and there and then carefully placing it back on the shelf in its place. "I'd forgotten that I left all of this behind. I hope it was, at least, useful to her." Willow worked frantically to find Xander and, after some digging, found out that he was in L.A. At least that was his last known address.
"Any luck," Giles said leaning over Willow's shoulder just as the information about Xander appeared on the screen, "Yahtzee," she said and emphatically hit the enter button on the keyboard. "Here," Willow said, without looking at him as she held up a book she had taken off the shelf before Giles came down. "Thought you might want to have this," she said and leaned her head up to kiss the underside of his neck softly.
"My Watcher's diary," He said with regret. "I bought this just before Buffy died because my old one was almost full and there was so much activity with Glory that I was certain it would have run of room...." he paused and sighed, "....I thought this was lost." Giles said, backing away from Willow. He made his way over to the sofa and sat down, his fingers softly flipping through the pages. But the pages were blank, empty, painful reminders of why they'd never been written on. As he held the book in his hands, its musty, leathery scent intoxicating him, a surge of light and power emanated from the book, hot and scorching Giles' hands. Images of the past flashed before his eyes, rushing through his body as if he were experiencing everything himself. The power coursed through his soul and Willow's and it brought her to her knees on the floor almost a foot away from him.
"Giles?" She asked from the floor, gasping and fighting for air.
"I know," he said, "It will pass." He dropped the book and the feeling left him.
Willow fell onto the floor, limp and sprawled out as if she was making a snow-angel. "What the hell?"
Giles rushed to her side, "Are you alright?"
"Yeah, just give me a second," she said and let out a long, cleansing breath.
"Well, I didn't see that coming. Must be a residual from the Coven's spell. Remember when you touched me you began to feel everything?" He looked into her eyes, "Better, now?" He asked, helping her stand.
"That was new," Willow said. "Feeling everything you feel? Well," she said, finding the silver lining, "At least I'll know if you're cheating on me."
He raised an eyebrow in response to her statement and said with a smirk, "Remind me to ring England when we get home. I think I need to speak with the Coven."
"Funny," she said.
As much as he tried to avoid it, he couldn't. The remorse played across his face, darkening his features before tugging at his eyes. This was new for Giles, he never opened up in front of anyone before. But Willow brought it out of him. "Her story deserved to be told, and I let it go. This book yearned for another chapter of her life."
Willow leaned in close to Giles, her body facing his as she situated herself between his legs, and rested her forehead against his. She softly stroked the sides of his face and ran her hands down his arms until she reached the book. With a soft whisper to him, she closed his hands around the book and enveloped his hands in her own. A warm glow surrounded their hands as Giles felt every ounce of regret flowing out of him, through his hands and into the book. "Magic," she whispered when his eyes reached hers.
She stood up and smiled at him as he opened the book. Every thought he'd ever had that he wished he had written down was magically writing itself as he watched. Things he thought he'd forgotten or knew he repressed, all magically appearing before his eyes with each turn of the page.
"Thank you," he said, his voice husky from sheer exhaustion.
"Come on, let's go upstairs," Willow said, pausing for one last look around the room.