Title: Never Say Never
Part 14 of the ABC series
Author: Frau Hunter Ash
Copyright © 2002 by Hunter Ash. All Rights Reserved.
Email: hunterash@sti.net Feedback welcome!!
Homepage Addy : www.hunterash.com
Disclaimers: The characters and show all belong to Joss Whedon , Fox, Mutant Enemy, Kuzui , and God only knows who else. The storyline, however, is the sole property of the author. This story cannot be sold or used for profit in any way. Copies of this story may be made for private use only and must include all disclaimers and copyright notices.
F/F romance : the story assumes a loving and sexual relationship between people of the same gender, different genders, and may even include 3 at the same time <G>. If this offends or is illegal for you, then please leave. Come back when you are older, have an open mind, moved, or changed your laws.
Spoilers: Sometime after Wrecked
Summary: Giles is back and somewhat "normal" with Ethan's aid. How
does that impact the band of fighters? How can they fight a hell-god
and sorcerer? Will Ethan switch sides or will Giles' darkside come
to the surface?
Rating: 15
Author's Note: Pairings: W/G, B/F, A/C, X/A, G/E
Giles glanced up from the stack of books on the table and smiled as Ethan entered the kitchen.
Ethan leaned against the doorjam and smiled back. “Looks like old times, you pouring over the books and me planning the magic. You almost look twenty-something again, Rip.”
“Jealous, mate?” Giles grinned.
“A bit, especially with that gorgeous red-head you've got on your arm,” Ethan nodded and crossed the room to sit across from his old friend and some-time enemy.
“She's special, the best,” Giles agreed, his eyes softening.
“You've got it bad,” Ethan assessed.
“Yes,” Giles agreed. “How are you doing? Ready for this?”
Ethan shrugged. “As ready as ever to take on the Old Gods. Willow told me what happened and how you… well…”
“Became a vampire?” Giles prompted and smiled at Ethan's shy nod. “Made the choice when I accepted Willow as a vampire. I knew it would come down to becoming one eventually. Just didn't think it'd be less than a month.”
Ethan frowned, watching Giles closely. “How does that work, Rip? You've been fighting the darkness since… since Randall. Now, it practically dances off of you again. Do they even see it?”
Giles shook his head. “No, Willow shields herself from her own temptation with the darkness and Tara hasn't scanned me, she doesn't know my past.”
“And forgets that you have more than a fair share of magic power,” Ethan shook his head. “Can you stand against Victor and that bunch? Rip, I saw what they did to you, just that rage inside of you will send you over an edge you won't come back from again.”
“I know,” Giles sighed. “I won't be in the forefront of the fight, I'll back you and Willow.”
“Good,” Ethan smiled, looking relieved. “Rip, the pain radiating from you is… painful. I can feel it, I know Willow and Angel can as well. How can I help?”
“I don't know,” Giles frowned. “The physical is healed but the nightmares are… vivid.”
“You'll be affect by the physical, Rip, until you let the assault go,” Ethan said softly.
Giles' head snapped up, his eyes widened. “W-what? You… you healed the effects of the torture.”
“And I was connected to you when I did,” Ethan said calmly, watching Giles' eyes. “I know what they did to you, Rip. Everything they did. Damnit, you know you've nothing to be shamed of. Ignoring it isn't going to make it go away, you know that.”
“Let it go, Eth,” Giles said slowly, looking down at his hands.
“No, you're seeing yourself as damaged goods, Rip, and you'll be useless in the fight like this,” Ethan pressed. “Go out and knock down a tree, rip some mugger's throat out, howl and rage at the stars, do something!”
Giles continued to frown and shake his head. “I can't lose control, especially now. With this much… rage, I could lose my soul and become as bad as Angelus or worse.”
“Rip, you were raped, damnit!” Ethan said softly but firmly. “And your Slayer saw it, didn't she? Is that one of the reasons she can't sleep?”
Giles' eyes changed from blue-green to yellow as his fangs extended in anger.
“Let it go, Eth,” Giles growled.
“Not bloody likely,” Ethan snapped back. “We need you in top form, Rip. I'm rather fond of you and don't want to see you hurting like this. Did they force you to enjoy it? In front of your Slayer then? Or just ram into you while you cried out in pain?”
Giles closed his eyes and clenched his fists, unaware he had slipped into vampire face in his anger.
“What, Rip? Can give it but can't take it? Always had to be in control, didn't you?” Ethan taunted, leaning over the table, almost in Giles' ear.
The sorcerer was seeing blackness and stars just after his body hit the wall because of a backhand blow from the vampire. Before his vision could clear Giles had Ethan up and pinned to the wall by his throat.
“Rip!” Ethan gasped. “Go… ahead… but save some for… Victor…”
The sorcerer flew across the room, landing heavily against the other wall. He moaned and shook his head. When his vision cleared he was Willow trying to hold an enraged vampire back.
“Giles! Ru! Please! Stop! What's happened?” Willow screamed and looked relieved when Angel rushed in and grabbed Giles' arms.
The older vampire was stunned when Giles managed to turn and hit him, taking them both to the floor.
“Giles! What the hell?” Angel shouted and Willow tried to pull her mate off.
“Fight back!” Ethan yelled. “He has to get it out before the battle!”
“Have you both lost your minds?” Willow shouted as Giles shook her off and the two male vampires snarled and snapped, fangs looking for any hold.
“He needs this, luv,” Ethan said calmly as he tried to stand up. “Oh bloody hell, he hits harder now he's got fangs.”
“What are you talking about?” Willow demanded, raising her hands, preparing to use magick to separate the two fighters.
“Don't do that!” Ethan shouted and winced as Giles kicked Angel through the library door and followed with a snarl. “They hurt him more than you realize, he needs this fight to feel… like Giles again.”
Willow frowned and turned to help Ethan to his feet.
“You've got two seconds to explain why my Giles is out of control,” she warned.
“They hurt him, Willow,” Ethan said urgently as Angel's voice shouted for the Slayers to stay out of the fight. “They hurt him sexually! He has to fight back and claim his power.”
Willow blinked and looked towards the sound of the fighting. “S-sexually? He… he didn't…”
“Say anything? He wouldn't, luv,” Ethan said gently. “Rip spent years stuffing most of himself inside a damned tweed suit for that damned Council, you woke him up and the man inside. Now that tin-plated god made him feel less than a man or vampire! Help him fight through this and then help the blonde bitch through it too.”
“Buffy? You think she saw?”
“If I was Victor, I would have,” Ethan nodded. He flinched when Giles landed back in the room with Angel attempting to dive on him. Giles kicked up, catching Angel in the stomach and throwing him over onto his back.
Willow whimpered and released Ethan's collar. “Angel! Sé Giles buaigh! He must… feel cabhraigh!” she shouted to the fighting figures.
“What the hell was that? Gaelic?” Ethan blinked. “I thought you were Jewish.”
“Sorta, I learned a lot in Scotland,” Willow mumbled as the vampires growled and fought. Being Sire and offspring, Willow knew Angel would have a very difficult time “letting” Giles win a fight. She glanced up to find Faith holding Buffy back.
“What the hell is going on?” Buffy demanded.
“Just wait, okay, Buff?” Willow begged.
The confused group watched as the vampires fought to a near stand-still, neither getting enough of a hold to hurt the other one. Then Angel “slipped” with an arm, giving Giles an opening to pin him to the floor, teeth at the older vampire's neck.
“Giles!” Willow shouted, touching his shoulder softly and ready to spring back. “Enough! You've won!”
Angel caught Willow's eyes and she saw the small wooden stake in his hand. If Giles went any further Angel was willing to hurt him. They were both bloody and tired as it was.
“Giles! Ru! Stop now!” Willow shouted, grabbing his hair. Not surprising, he growled but he let go of Angel and pulled back.
Angel moved the stake out of sight under his body as he “coughed” and pretended to be defeated.
Willow pulled Giles back as Angel shifted back to human face and sat up. “Come on, lover, let's take a walk.”
“Will?” Buffy continued to frown as she and Faith helped Angel to his feet.
“I promise we'll talk in a bit,” Willow said softly. “I need to be with him for a little bit.”
Willow led her still growling mate out into the hallway, heading for the back door.
Buffy and Faith turned to a bloodied Ethan.
“What? Don't look at me! You know he just likes bashing me!” Ethan protested.
“Angel?” Buffy demanded.
“Giles was attacking Ethan and turned on me,” Angel frowned, wiping blood from his lip. “Willow shouted in Gaelic that I should let him win so he'd… be better.”
“You know why he's so blasted out of his mind, Slayer,” Ethan growled. “He has to deal with it and so do you.”
“B?” Faith questioned.
“Later, Faith,” Buffy frowned, helping Angel stand up.
# # #
Faith was sitting by the fire and was surprised when Willow came in and sat across from her with a concerned expression and Faith frowned.
“Expecting Buffy?” Willow ventured.
“Yeah I was,” Faith admitted. “What's up, Red?”
“Buffy's with Giles right now,” Willow said softly and Faith could tell the vampire had been crying. “They both need to work through what happened before either of them can face Victor.”
“Then why aren't we with our lovers and helping them?” Faith snarled.
“Because they need to work through it together and forgive each other,” Willow sighed.
“What do you mean?”
“Faith, they've always relied on each other, one usually managed to save the other, no matter what the circumstances,” Willow said slowly. “Eventually they could turn to each other.”
“What's different with this one?” Faith demanded. “We rescued them, they're safe and alive. Well, sorta.”
Willow ignored the jab at hers and Giles' “undead” status and frowned. “They were both tortured in front of each other, especially Giles to make him talk. Faith… what's the worse thing you can think of happening to someone? To hurt them, humiliate them and break their spirit, to claim power over them?”
Faith poked at the fire, her first thought was torture but knew Willow had to be getting at something even more serious. The dark-haired Slayer felt her jaw tighten as she looked up, her eyes demanding.
“No, they didn't hurt Buffy like that but they did Giles,” Willow said, wiping away fresh tears.
“Red, whoa,” Faith whispered, sitting down on the floor in shock. “G-Man? No wonder he's a little nuts. That's not easy to live with, especially for a guy with that whole macho thing.”
“You've been there? A Slayer?” Willow asked, watching Faith's eyes.
“I was a kid, before I was called,” Faith sighed. “In one of the foster homes, saw one of the guys hurt like that. He killed himself later that month,” she said thoughtfully. “Is that why Buffy is shut down? She knows how he was hurt?”
“Faith, Buffy was there,” Willow said softly. “I managed to get that out of Ethan and then Giles. That was one way they snapped him.”
Faith threw the poker onto the hearth with a snarl. “No wonder she's shut down. Damnit! That son of a bitch! I'm going to change his gender for him!”
“Stand in line,” Willow promised, her eyes shifting to vampire yellow in her quiet anger.
“Will they be okay?” Faith asked softly, suddenly looking vulnerable.
“Just be there for Buffy,” Willow sighed. “For some reason she still has the hots for you.”
“And you were never jealous, right girlfriend?” Faith smirked, pulling the ‘tough-guy' façade back into place as Willow smiled.
“Maybe,” she admitted.
“Don't think I'm forgetting you getting horizontal with my girlfriend so Giles could get all fang-like with B,” Faith grumbled.
“Didn't think you did,” Willow smirked back and then grew serious again. “Right now she's trying to reassure Giles it's not his fault she was tortured and he's trying to reassure her that it's not her fault he was tortured. The trick is getting them to believe it and forgive each other and themselves.”
“Tough call,” Faith nodded. “Think I'll go wait for B.”
Willow smiled in agreement and glanced at the clock, her lover would be joining her soon, sunrise would see to that. Her eyes narrowed in thought.
# # #
Giles held Buffy, rocking her gently. They had spent over an hour just being with each other after arguing back and forth that neither had been at fault for the torture each had gone through.
She had finally gotten him to talk to her about what had happened and she managed to tell him the horror she had felt watching him suffer. Then they had hugged, cried a little and then were just together.
He sighed softly. “I have to go, luv.”
”I know, close to sunrise,” she mumbled. “And you're too young to try running around in the shadows, right?”
“I never thought I'd hear those words,” Giles chuckled, sounding a bit more like himself. “But, yes, I need to sleep. Especially after the injuries and healing. Will you be alright?”
“Yeah, I'm going to find Faith and sleep the day away in her arms,” Buffy smiled softly.
“I'm glad that's working out, Buffy,” Giles said with a small smile. “I know you loved Riley but you and Faith either had to get together or kill each other.”
Buffy giggled and nodded, sitting up and looking at him. “Yeah, pretty much describes our relationship over the years, doesn't it? You gonna be okay?”
“I believe so,” Giles said slowly. “After I take Victor's head off.”
“I'll hold him down for you,” Buffy promised, kissing his cheek. “Go rest.”
Giles trotted up the stairs to his and Willow's room. Redesigned with vampires in mind with drapes over the windows and a four poster bed with heavy drapes as well, he needed some time with his mate.
The vampire hesitated just inside the door.
“Come on in, Rip,” a male voice called out softly from the area of the bed.
“Ethan? This isn't funny, where's Willow?” Giles grumbled, crossing the distance and throwing back one of the curtains to the bed. Sitting against the headboard was his old running mate.
Ethan grinned impishly, reminding Giles of their youth. “It was her idea, I swear to Janus.”
Giles frowned. That was one oath he would believe from Ethan and probably no other. “What exactly was her idea?” he asked, crossing his arms and looking around for his wife.
“Well, she knows how I feel about you, she thinks you might still have something left for me as well and… well,” Ethan stammered and Giles' eyebrows rose but he refused to say anything, forcing Ethan to continue. “Red Willow said she's not jealous and that… well, male-to-male consensual stuff might help you if you'd like a go.”
Giles blinked with a frown, trying to process what Ethan had just said.
“Willow wants me to… with you?” he stammered.
Ethan grinned a wide smile and shrugged as he got up off the bed. “I figured she'd claw my eyes out too. Near floored me when she approached me with it. Although, you must admit that I look like we've had a good go around.”
Giles blushed at the mention of Ethan's bruises.
“Ethan, I'm not like that anymore,” Giles said softly.
“Hell you're not,” Ethan smirked, moving closer to the Watcher. “That's why you pound on me so readily, right? You nearly kicked in my kidneys that Halloween, Rip.”
“I needed answers,” Giles mumbled, ignoring the sorcerer moving closer to him.
“And tonight and the other nights? Always bashing me and then a good shagging,” Ethan said softly, moving into the vampire's personal space.
Giles glanced around, wondering where Willow was and if she was hearing this.
Ethan laughed and stroked Giles' cheek softly.
“What, never told your Scooby gang and your precious Slayer that we used to get together occasionally?” he teased in a low voice. “Bet you never admitted to them that you liked bending males over as well as females, did you? Couldn't let them know you were human, right?”
“Ethan, don't please,” Giles whimpered, moving backwards into the wall.
“Rip, for God's sake, let go of the fucking control,” Ethan snapped, placing his hands on either side of Giles' head. “You're not the Watcher anymore. You're a vampire, a Watcher, you're shagging one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen and you still have the magic. Let go already! I've heard vampires are more than active and frisky.”
Giles frowned, knowing he could throw Ethan across the room but felt powerless to move the sorcerer.
“Come on, Rip,” Ethan said softly, moving to kiss the vampire's neck. “You've already beaten me tonight, how about the shagging? I'm willing, you're up for it, and your wife agrees. You need control in the bed right now and I know you love being the top, luv.”
Giles whimpered at Ethan's touch. “I love her, Eth.”
“I know you do,” Ethan shrugged. “Bloody obvious, mate. I still want you. Both of you actually.”
Giles moaned and pulled Ethan to him, kissing him roughly.
The sorcerer laughed softly and took Giles' hand. “I even brought my own lube, luv.”
# # #
Faith sighed as Buffy drifted into the first peaceful sleep the blonde Slayer had in a long time. Whatever had happened between Buffy and Giles it had helped.
Buffy had curled up in Faith's arms, cried a little and then snuggled before drifting off to sleep.
The dark-haired Slayer wondered if any of them were really up to facing a Hell God. She had learned from Tara that Willow had a history with Rack and Amy, Giles and Buffy had been humiliated and tortured, and could anyone trust Ethan?
And what was up with Willow sleeping in a spare room and not with Giles? Faith suddenly realized she didn't want to know where Ethan was.
# # #
The group that gathered around the table that late afternoon was much calmer and apparently more stable than before. Ethan sat next to Giles with Willow on the other side of the Watcher vampire. Buffy leaned on Faith's shoulder, smiling at Giles' calm energy and Willow's holding his hand. Xander looked thoughtful as Tracy and Tara pointed to the map as Angel and Cordelia frowned.
No one said a word about the fang marks on Ethan's neck as Giles leaned his head on Willow's shoulder and she leaned around to kiss him tenderly.
“So the white light types go and try to make the ground poison to sorcerers tonight?” Ethan ventured as everyone looked at the map and began discussing strategy. “Ripper going to be in the back?”
Giles nodded. “I'll back you and Willow, if need be. If absolutely necessary, channel any escaping energy and grounding it.”
“That'd put you at risk, Rip. Negative energy and all that,” Ethan said softly, with a frown.
“If necessary, we'll handle it,” Giles said firmly as Willow pulled back, a worried expression on her face.
“Ru?”
“He's worried I'd give into dark stuff easier now that I'm a vampire,” Giles explained truthfully.
“I've reason to be,” Ethan insisted. “I can feel the energy about you.”
Willow's frown deepened and she saw Tara closing her eyes and closed hers as well, both sending out “feelers” to the ex-Watcher. Willow was surprised when she felt a “growl” from Giles, his shields firm but… dark and foreboding.
Willow felt Tara jerk back into herself and followed back into her own awareness. “Ru?” she questioned, opening her eyes and finding her vampire mate pulling back.
“I'm alright,” Giles insisted. “I won't muck about with the magic, alright then?”
The vampire got up and walked out of the room quickly. Willow started to rise but Ethan jumped to his feet first. “I'll tend to him, you plan how to stop these bastards.”
“Will?” Xander asked, worried.
“He'll be alright. Giles is… he's dealing with a lot,” Willow tried to explain. “He's only been a vampire a short while, having me go nuts because of Rack and Amy, then the torture they put him through has worn him down. It's weakened his magical shields and his own temptations are popping up.”
“Having Ethan around doesn't help that control,” Tara added. “Ethan's energy is like… I don't know.”
“Chaotic,” Willow sighed. “And it's what Giles was drawn to originally but we need Ethan right now. With his help, I can hit them low and hard while Tara and Tracy hit them with positive magic.”
“And we kick ass,” Faith smirked.
Angel nodded and went back to looking at the map. “So we figure Amy, Rack, and Victor, plus a coven of twelve. There's bound to be at least three guards, especially if they know we're coming.”
“Probably depends on if they think Giles is still a mummy and can't talk,” Xander pondered aloud. “If they do, then three guards, I'd put them here, here and here,” he said, pointing to places on the map.
Remembering Xander's “military” experience courtesy from one of Ethan's cursed costumes, Buffy nodded as she and Faith moved closer, figuring out attack paths.
“That's a lot of people to fight,” Cordelia said thoughtfully. “I mean, being the good guys we don't grab Uzi's and start blasting so that means hand to hand stuff.”
“Well, hopefully we can do something that will cause mass confusion. Most of the cultist might just scatter,” Angel suggested.
“Flash bombs?” Xander suggested. “Hurts the ears and eyes.”
“Sounds good, how do we protect ourselves?” Tracy asked.
“Sunglasses and ear plugs,” Xander responded. “I've got some ideas on how to disrupt and secure most of them. The big question is what about Rack, Victor and Amy?”
“That's where the witch types come in,” Buffy said softly. “Black and white energy hitting them, maybe we can stand against a Hell God.”
# # #
“Hey, Rip,” Ethan said softly, walking up to the vampire as Giles leaned on the railing of the porch. “What's the problem? It's not the sexual thing, we tackled that pretty well this morning.”
Giles started to growl and then shook his head with a smile. “You'll never grow up, will you?”
“If that means I'll become more like your stuffy old library self, then no, I won't,” Ethan smiled, leaning on the rail next to his old running mate. “What is it? There's a strange magical energy surrounding you that none of us can get through.”
“I don't know,” Giles admitted. “I don't remember some of what happened. All I can grab onto is Victor did something magically and I can't remember a thing about it. It's like a locked box inside me.”
“You're afraid that box is going to open during a magical battle and surprise the hell out of you?” Ethan ventured.
“Yeah,” Giles nodded. “Like a hidden grenade ready to go off and kill me or everyone else.”
“Then you shouldn't be around the battle, Rip,” the sorcerer said softly.
“Damnit, I can't just stand back and wait while everyone else is in danger, especially Buffy and Willow.” Giles protested, standing up straight and beginning to pace.
“You have to this time, Ripper,” Ethan said softly, reaching out and pulling Giles into his arms. “Please, we're actually talking and shagging without the usual pounding. I think I like that right now.”
“Ethan…”
“Don't bother, mate,” Ethan smiled and laid his head on Giles' shoulder. “I know you don't love me like her. I'm alright with that as well. Can't promise I'll always stay on the right side of the tracks, Rip. I'm still dedicated to Janus and chaos.”
“I know and we'll probably end up bashing each other again,” Giles smiled and nuzzled Ethan's neck, running his lips over the fang marks he had left earlier that morning. The sorcerer's moan and shiver didn't escape the vampire and Giles pulled Ethan closer.
“Just try and stay safe during the fight, Rip.”
“I'll try, I promise,” Giles nodded, gently holding Ethan.
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