A LA CARTE ~ AFTER SCHOOL SNACK
Laura Smith
Knocking softly on the front door, Willow pushed it open, sliding her key out of the lock as she did so. The room was dark, but the fire was lit. Stepping inside, she set her book bag on the floor. "Giles?"
"In the kitchen."
"Okay."
"Hey Wills."
The redhead froze, her eyes moving quickly to the sound of the voice. Buffy stood off to the side of the room, a book in her hand. She managed a weak smile. "Hey."
"Were you able to get anything from the Mayor's files?"
Normal conversation seemed so…strange. "Nope. Wiped clean." She kicked off her shoes and walked over to the couch. "Did you find out anything from the vampire you captured the other night?"
"Nope." Buffy walked over and sat across from Willow, tucking her feet under her. "As much as TV leads you to believe that the bad guys are always overeager to divulge their plans, in real life they're way more closed mouthed."
"Maybe if we sent them a script?" Willow copied Buffy's gesture, managing a small smile in the Slayer's direction.
Buffy shrugged. "I figured we should talk. I haven't seen you much since…since you and Oz broke up."
"I've been kind of scarce. We've all been busy dealing with this Ascension thing."
"And you and Giles have been busy." It was almost a question. Willow looked up at Buffy and nodded.
"Yeah. We have."
Silence fell between them as they looked at each other, the challenge hovering in the air. "Do you think we should talk about this, Willow? I mean, you're my best friend in the world, and I feel like I'm walking on eggshells around you. I don't like it."
"Are you in love with Giles?"
Buffy bit her lower lip and furrowed her brow. "Wow. And we're going right for the number one question."
"It's the only one that matters to me."
Buffy sat up straight and stared down at her hands. "I don't know. I mean, I love him. He's…he's Giles, you know? He's always there for me, he's everything you want a man to be for you and, as much as I pretend I can't see it, he's amazingly sexy. He and I…we have a bond that nothing can break. Not the Council, not Wesley, not anything."
"I know."
"And he loves me."
"I know that too."
Buffy looked up at Willow, noting her stiff posture and the fact that she wouldn't look at her. "But we're not in love with each other. Not like you guys are."
Tears glistened in Willow's eyes as she met Buffy's. "What?"
"Giles is really easy to love, Wills. And I do love him. I like knowing that someone cares about what happens to me, and I like the thought that someone wants to hold me. I also like the fact that, barring any strange spells that Ethan might use, Giles isn't going to change into some horrible nightmare from loving me." Her soft giggle was tinged with sadness. "I know that I'm selfish. I mean, I sort of pushed Giles into being alone with me the other day, just because I wanted to be alone with him. With…with Faith, I've been feeling…not so special. Then, when I started realizing that you meant so much to Giles, I was…well, I was jealous. I mean, he's *my* Watcher, you know?"
"You're jealous of me?" Willow laughed incredulously. "You've got to be kidding."
"I'm not. You have everything that I could possibly ever want. I mean, you've got the lifelong friend, the super steady boyfriend…well, you did. You've got the resident evil sorcerer all hot and bothered for you, and you've got Giles willing to lay down his life at your feet. Not bad for a shy little hacker."
Willow blushed. "I never quite looked at it that way."
"And I have a good friend who lusts after me, a souled vampire who I can't get horizontal with, a psycho Slayer and a whiny new Watcher."
"And the resident sorcerer, the ex-Watcher and the local witch bedding you from time to time." Willow reminded her.
"Well, not anymore. Did Giles…?"
"He told me." Willow nodded.
"So, therein lies my tale of woe." Buffy grinned. "But I've done a lot of thinking and I realize that, as good as everything was, I'd almost rather go back in time and have never walked up those stairs. I miss you being my friend. I miss there *not* being weirdness. I miss you, Wills. And I miss the easy friendship that you and Giles and I had. I miss all of that. More than I'll ever miss the smoochies."
"Smoochies?"
"Okay, and the hot, steamy sex." Buffy giggled and moved over to sit next to Willow on the couch. Putting her arm around her, she held her tightly in a hug. "I need you to be my friend, Willow. Are you still?"
"As long as you promise to keep your hands off my…" She stopped, looking up as Giles walked out of the kitchen. "What are you exactly?"
"Willing slave?" He offered.
"Okay."
Buffy watched Giles sit in the chair she'd just vacated, her eyes lost and slightly hungry. "It's not going to be easy. He's kind of…addictive."
"I know." Willow nodded, her eyes focused where Buffy's were.
"If we find a cure…?" Almost hesitantly, Buffy looked at her friend. "If I promise that I'm not trying to steal him away from you, would I be welcomed back?"
Giles looked at Willow, raising an eyebrow. There were still several issues they'd not dealt with, several wounds still raw. Willow watched him, seeing the implication in his eyes. This was her decision. Whatever his feelings for Buffy, his feelings for her and what she wanted were first. "Provided we all survive the Ascension, I don't see why not."
"Not that I'm looking for a cure," Buffy admitted. "I mean, college guys…I hear they've got it all over older men." Her grin was aimed at Giles and he returned it.
Willow shook her head. "I'll stick with the older man."
***
Giles shut the door behind Buffy as she headed out for patrol. Willow walked up behind him and slid her arms around his waist. "That was good, wasn't it? We're going to be okay now? The three of us, I mean."
"The three of us should be fine." He lifted her hands off his stomach and turned around in her embrace so that they were face to face. "But there are still some things that you and I need to discuss."
She nodded and stepped away from him, heading back toward the couch. "You mean sex didn't solve everything?" Her grin let him know she was teasing as she sat down. "I thought it cured everything."
"Not quite." He sat across from her. "Sometimes it creates all sorts of new problems."
"Why does the name Ethan seem about ready to enter the conversation?" Willow grabbed one of the throw pillows and pulled it onto her lap.
"Now that you mention him…" Giles tried to grin, but it was a rather feeble effort. "We haven't discussed his role in this whole thing at all since the other night. I was wondering…well, why?"
"Why did we sleep together?"
He flinched slightly, unable to control his reaction. "Ye…yes, I suppose so."
"I was hurting…and he was trying so hard to make me feel better. He was being very…un-Ethan-y. Like he was that morning when Buffy was here the first time. The entire time we were together, I could tell he was thinking about me, about what I was getting from it."
"That's because he's in love with you."
She looked up sharply. "He is not."
"Yes," he nodded slightly. "He is. And I would imagine that's exactly why he left town. You probably scare the hell out of him." She was staring at him, confusing darkening her eyes. "I would imagine he got you alone to see if you'd…"
"Ethan doesn't love me," she denied again.
"And I think you might have some feelings for him." Giles moved over to the couch. "Willow," he brushed the hair back from her face. "Would you have slept…made love with Ethan that day if you didn't care about him?
"I…" she stopped, looking up at him. He wasn't surprised by the echo of guilt in her eyes. "No."
"Why do you think I was so damned angry?" He asked, his hand moving down to her cheek. "I was put on trial for making love to Buffy when you'd done the same to Ethan. It took me a few drinks to calm down enough to see the irony in the situation. But by then, by then the damage had been done."
"You had a right to be angry," she admitted, looking away. "I knew, although I didn't want to acknowledge it. I mean, I was so afraid. I love you," She looked back, her eyes dark with emotion. "So much. And I was afraid that, after what I had done…"
"Ethan gets under your skin."
"I didn't want him to. I don't want these feelings. I want this to be simple."
"Nothing that starts out as a threesome ends up simple, Love."
"Rupert," she felt the tears welling up in her eyes. "I'm so sorry…"
"No." He shook his head. "We're both at fault. Rather than deal with it rationally and in an adult manner, I just attacked you. I had our relationship figured out in my head and, even though we hadn't discussed it, I expected you to know what I wanted. After the scare with the gang of vampires and Buffy's loss of strength, coupled with the knowledge that Ethan was trying to steal you away from me, I lost my head."
"I wasn't exactly adult about it either." She bit her lower lip and peered at him through lowered lashes. "I was hurt. Ethan had said something about you and Buffy, and I let it get to me. I expected the same thing from you that you expected from me, even though neither of us had agreed to it. Then I refused to let you know how I felt and yelled at you instead."
"I probably didn't help when we tried to put it all behind us just by having sex."
She shook her head, giving him a sexy grin. "Oh no, I have to say I like the sex-method of resolution." Moving closer to him, she leaned against his chest. "But I think maybe we need to define our relationship, if that's what this is. I mean, if there's a cure and we find it…if Ethan comes back…" She sighed. "Is it just our bed? Or do we plan on sharing it again?"
He sighed and leaned back, pulling her with him. Her hand moved to stroke his chest through the thin material of his shirt. "What do you want to do?"
"I want it to be just the two of us," she admitted, not meeting his eyes. "At least for a little while. I think it might be good to solidify our relationship before we let anyone else back into it."
He nodded. "I think you're right. You love him. I love her. But I think we need to concentrate on what's important…what's most important. Which is how we feel about one another."
She lifted her head, her green eyes meeting his. "I want to know that we love each other, without any other distractions. I want to know that it's about us, not about the sex." Kissing him softly, she closed her eyes and inhaled the warm scent of him. "I want to be sure of us."
He stroked her hair, holding her close to him. "We'll be sure," he promised.
Next: High Tea