A LA CARTE ~ HIGH TEA
Laura Smith
Giles sank down onto the chair and sighed, barely glancing at the menu. He was exhausted. The road trip had been necessary, but not by any stretch of the imagination, something he'd wanted to do. But without the help of the Council, he had no choice but to fend for himself in the realm of books and other arcane texts. Which had required that he take a weekend away from doing what he really wanted to do and go out and buy some books.
The thought of which made him chuckle to himself. Who would have ever thought that buying books would be second on his list of things to do?
"Is this a private joke or can anyone join in?"
He looked up, surprised at the voice he knew so well. "Ethan?"
"The very same." He sank down opposite Giles and smiled over at his friend. "How are you, Ripper?"
"Hungry. You?"
"I don't normally stay at the…" He looked around, finally finding a sign. "'Uncle Bob's Fancy Grub and Truck Stop' for fun and pleasure. Although I'm sure Uncle Bob is a really a very nice man."
Giles smiled. "I suppose he probably is." The silence at the table grew deafening as the two men simply stared at one another. "Why did you disappear, Ethan? It's been almost six months."
"You were busy. I heard about the ascension and decided that Sunnydale was no longer a place I had any desire to be. Besides, I'm sure you and the little witch didn't need any help in keeping your relationship alive, especially since the Slayer got in the game."
"Hmmm." Giles nodded and Ethan raised an eyebrow.
"What?" He leaned forward. "What's wrong? All not happily ever after on the Hellmouth?"
"Not exactly. At least not the way you'd think." Giles leaned back in his chair as the waitress came to the table. He ordered then gestured to Ethan. The other man doubled the order and copied Giles' relaxed pose. "Buffy's…Buffy and I are no longer…well…"
"You're no longer shagging your Slayer?" Ethan offered as help.
"Right. We were alone one time…the only time and afterwards, we got attacked by a band of vampires. Buffy almost got killed, so we did a little research. Apparently when Watchers and Slayers…consummate a relationship, it takes the Slayer two days to recover her full strength. Not wanting anything to happen to Buffy…"
"Or the rest of the town, I'm sure," Ethan threw in.
"We decided it was best that we…not continue."
"Must be hard. Still wanting her."
"Sometimes."
Ethan's face hardened. "But you still have the little witch to keep you warm."
Giles leaned forward, touching Ethan's hand lightly, his lip quirking slightly when he pulled it away. "What happened between you two, Ethan? Willow told me you took her to the beach to help her get her mind off of breaking up with Oz. She said you were very nice and very sweet."
"And you wonder what got into me?" He laughed bitterly.
"Then she told me you ravished her until she was practically mindless."
"Oh no, Ripper. She's got enough mind that she hung onto. Enough left to insult me." Ethan looked away. "Do you know why I was there, Rupert? Why I hung around? Why I kept coming back?"
"I have a suspicion or two."
"I was falling in love. With both of you. I mean, you…well, you've always been my weak spot, just as I've been yours. And what we had way back when has never quite gone away. Being with you…you letting me be with you and with both of you, was like…probably the closest thing to heaven I'll ever manage to see."
"Ethan…"
"Shut up. I'm on a self-pitying roll, and you're going to have to ride it out." Clearing his throat, he paused as the waitress set their plates and drinks down in front of them. Ethan took a long drink of his before continuing. "And Willow… I don't question why you love her, Rupert. She's very easy to love. So accepting, so understanding. I wanted to…I was tempted, that day, if she had done or said anything remotely encouraging, I would have tried very hard to steal her away from you."
"I see."
Ethan could sense Giles' irritation and he smiled. "Instead, she gave me sort of a hard time. She let me know in no uncertain terms that she didn't think of me as anything other than a fun toy to take to bed every now and again."
"That's not how she feels about you."
"It doesn't matter how she feels, mate. All that matters is how it felt to me."
Giles watched Ethan eat, the silence setting between them again. "What did you want her to say?" he asked finally.
"I don't bloody know," Ethan admitted with a harsh laugh. "I offered to let her pretend that she was dating me, to keep the pressure off the two of you. I figured that way, I'd get to escort her around in public, touch her in public…and perhaps you'd both be so grateful that you'd let me join you on a more regular basis. And maybe I was hoping that she'd see me for a great, sacrificing hero and you as the spineless coward unwilling to face the crowd's disapproval and run into my arms."
"My, you've got a low view of me, don't you?" Giles laughed softly. He reached across the table and took Ethan's hand, uncaring if anyone in Uncle Bob's truck stop noticed. "Ethan, I thought we'd resolved all of our differences. I thought you knew that you were welcome any time. Perhaps not every time, but any time you needed to be with us."
"For how long?" He asked quietly.
"I don't know, Ethan. You're awfully good at variety, do you really think we'd get bored with you that quickly?"
"That's not the point, Ripper." Ethan smiled in spite of himself. "And you know it. It was difficult enough to get you to admit that you actually fancied me, I'm not about to waste the rest of my life hoping for more."
"Would it be such a waste?" Giles asked quietly. "Being with the two of us?"
"Waiting has never been my strong suit, Ripper. And waiting, when it comes to the more carnal aspects of life, is simply something I'm not capable of." He picked up his drink, watching Giles over the rim of the glass. "It was a good run while it lasted."
Giles shrugged and turned his attention to his meal. Ethan continued to watch him, a certain sadness in his eyes. After a long moment, Giles looked up again. "So that's it? After dogging me for a good twenty years? You've just decided that you're going to up and disappear?"
"I've disappeared before."
"Damn it," Giles growled. "I didn't care before. I didn't want you around. I wanted you gone so that I didn't have to face up to what was between us."
"What is between us?" Ethan asked softly. "Willow aside, what are your feelings for me, Ripper?" He paused. "Rupert?"
Giles reached out, his fingers grazing over the back of Ethan's hand. "I don't know the words," he admitted. "For all my knowledge, Ethan, I don't know what to say." He released his hand, turning his own over, his palm up in submission. "Do I love you?"
"I don't know, Rupert. Do you?"
"I want you," Giles admitted. "I crave you like a drug. I think of you at the most inopportune moments. Is that love? Or simply lust?"
"What do you think?"
Laughing, Giles caught Ethan's hand, holding it tightly. "You've been reading psychology texts again, haven't you?"
Ethan grinned. "Possibly." He laced his fingers through Giles'. "But that doesn't make the question less valid."
"You've been a thorn in my side over half my life."
"Not just in your side," Ethan reminded him with a wink.
"And I can't imagine what my life would have been like without you in it."
"You talk so pretty." Ethan raised his eyebrow. "But you don't say much at all."
"Yes," Giles whispered.
Ethan felt his chest tighten as Giles' hand left his and moved up his arm. "You…" Closing his eyes, Ethan inhaled sharply. "Gods."
Giles smirked. "Weren't expecting that, I take it."
"Honestly? I didn't think you had the balls to admit it, old man."
"You, of all people, should know better." Giles raised an eyebrow, his smile sending a thrill up Ethan's spine. "I may take a while to get there, Ethan, but I'm not so wrapped up in what's right that I won't admit when I'm wrong. Besides, you think a man who has slept with two young women who could be considered his students is all that worried about what's right? Or proper? Or legal for that matter?" He chuckled.
"I still didn't think you'd say it. Not that you have," he reminded him. "Exactly."
"I love you," Giles' voice was low and husky, his hand warm as it wove a seductive pattern on Ethan's skin. "Now, come home?"
"Can't." Ethan pulled his arm away. "I'm sorry."
Giles pulled back as if he'd been burned, his hand curling into a fist. "Why not?"
"Your witch." Looking down at his plate, Ethan continued. "You love her. I love her. She loves you. I can't see anything good coming of this." When Giles started to protest, he held up his hand. "She told me, the last time I saw her, about how much it hurt her to feel left out when you were with Buffy. When the three of you were together, you'd end up concentrating on your Slayer and Willow would feel lonely. I don't want to have that happen."
"Buffy was never in love with Willow. That's the only reason…"
"Rupert?"
Giles looked up, meeting Ethan's dark eyes, seeing things there he didn't want to acknowledge. "Yes?"
"Go home and make love to her. Make is sweet and hot, lusty and loving. Let her know I think of you both. But just go home."
"Please come back, Ethan? At least every once and a while?"
Ethan stood up, tossing a couple of bills down next to Giles' hand. Placing his hand on Giles' shoulder, he leaned down and very softly kissed the top of his head. "Goodbye, Rupert."
Giles closed his eyes, feeling Ethan walk away. His chest hurt, the wounded sound of Ethan's voice staying with him long after the man himself was gone. He looked out the large window of the restaurant in time to see the Lotus' taillights disappear from view. Nodding to himself, he smiled, leaving money to pay his bill, determined to take Ethan's advice.
When he reached his car, there was a slip of paper resting on the steering wheel of his car. Giles picked it up and turned it over, the bold words bringing a feral grin to his face. He tossed the note in the passenger's seat as he slid in the car, heading back to Sunnydale. Smiling occasionally as his eyes strayed to the seat, a warm feeling enveloping him at the sight of Ethan's hastily scrawled "Be seeing you."