INTERPRETING SIGNS
Laura Smith
The door was unlocked, so she pushed her way in. Darkness shrouded the apartment causing a hard knot to form in her stomach. Stepping further inside, she shut the door behind her.
The man she sought was standing by the fireplace, his head against his arm resting on the mantel. Sorrow was evident in the line of his back and if the glass in his hand was any indication, he'd been drinking. She glanced at the empty bottle on the mantel beside him. He'd been drinking a lot.
"Giles?"
"Go 'way, Buffy."
"I think we need to talk about this, don't you?" She walked up behind him and placed her hand gently on his shoulder. He shrugged it off and moved away from her. "We need to talk about what we're going to do."
"We're not going to *do* a damn thing." He snarled. He looked at her finally, his eyes wild. "I'd just as soon cut off my own head than betray her that way."
"Well, at least you didn't say have sex with me."
Tossing his glass angrily into the fireplace, he whirled away from her and headed for the kitchen. She followed, worried.
"Giles, I think we need to talk about it, even if it's not something we're going to do. It's between us now, which is exactly what they wanted. I don't like having this uncomfortable feeling between us."
"And you think talking about it is going to make it better?" His voice was incredulous. "I like you as a Watcher Giles, but I can't imagine having sex with you. As a matter of fact I don't see how Willow does it. There. Did I cover all of the salient points or did I miss something?"
"Let's just forget about us for a minute and focus on the Ritual. Obviously it's been around for a while. Why don't you tell me about it before we get all bent out of shape?" She walked to the stove and put the kettle on. "And why don't you drink something other than alcohol so that we can have a real conversation."
"I am quite lucid, thank you."
"Right." She turned the burner on and set him at the table. Sitting opposite him, she took his hand and forced him to look at her. "When did it start?"
"It doesn't matter, Buffy." He withdrew his hand. "What has gone before, as far as this is concerned, is very circumspect. In every case the Watcher has ended up with his Slayer instead of the woman he was supposed to love."
"Is that what you're so afraid of?"
"No!" He got up and turned off the burner, dumping the warm water down the sink. "I love Willow. And nothing will ever change that. Not even sleeping with you. Which is not something I'm going to be doing."
"Why did they all end up with their Slayers?"
Her voice was small, causing him to turn around. He could see the fear in her eyes, and knew she was still intent on her purpose. "There is a bond between Slayers and Watchers. It is necessary for them to do their job. It's the way I knew who you were the moment you walked into the library. It is a bond stronger than any other."
"Stronger than any other?"
"Stronger than my love for my family. It is a bond of duty and honor. And often, one of affection. You know that Quentin was furious after your 18th birthday fiasco because of my feelings for you. But, according to the Watcher's journals that I've read that deal with this, once physical contact is established on the deepest level, well, it's a contact no Watcher or Slayer has ever had the strength or ability to break."
"Oh." She sat quietly, deliberately not looking at him. "How many times?"
"Fourteen that have been recorded." His voice was somber. "I think of those fourteen women and I wonder what happened to them. They seem to have disappeared after the Ritual was performed. There is no more mention of them in any of the journals." He took off his glasses and set them aside. "I will not let that happen to Willow."
"Do you think so little of your relationship that you won't take a chance when it could save her life?"
"Buffy, those fourteen Watchers were married to those women. They had promised their lives to them, in spite of their Slayer. And they had betrayed that promise." He shook his head. "I love Willow with my heart and my soul, Buffy. But how do I know that those men didn't?"
"Giles…"
"And how can I betray her like that? How can I take this love that I have for her and sully it with sex condoned by the Council." He looked up at her. "Sorry, no offense meant."
"None taken." She bit her lower lip. "But…and I'm confused because it sounds like I really want this to happen and I don't. But I also would love some sort of reassurance that Willow would be safe. Too often I'm in a fight and I'm worried about my friends and if they're okay. It makes it tough. It would be good to know that she had some sort of protection."
"But at what cost to you? What if sharing your strength with her leaves you defenseless? Willow is not out on the front lines of battle every night. If I have my way she'll never be on the front lines of battle ever again. But you are." He moved back to the table and pulled his chair out until it was directly in front of her. Sitting down, he stared into her blue eyes. "You are. And I could not bear it if anything happened to you, either."
She smiled, surprised at the tear that trailed down her cheek. "Thank you, Giles. That means a lot."
He caught the tear with his thumb. "You're my Slayer."
She grabbed his hand and brought the thumb to her lips. Licking the salty tear from it, she smiled tremulously. "That I am."
They both stared at their joined hands in a mixture of fear, embarrassment and nerves. Finally, Buffy moved slightly forward in her chair until she was sitting on the very edge of it. Her heart was pounding furiously as she leaned forward and met his lips with her own.
His lips were cool and firm under hers. Strong, but not resistant. Darting her tongue out, she traced the seam between them with infinite care. They parted, allowing her tongue access and she wondered briefly what she was doing.
Still kissing him, she slid off her chair and into his lap. His strong arms wrapped around her, holding her to him. The one around her waist caressed her hip through the material of her skirt while the other traced intricate patterns on her thigh, just below the material.
The heady combination of his kiss and his touch sent shivers of sensation down her spine. She parted her legs so that his hand could trail higher. His long fingers brushed against the damp fabric of her panties and she gasped into his mouth. Taking advantage, Giles plundered her open mouth with his tongue, tasting her eagerly, as his fingers dipped beneath the material to do the same to her wet passage.
She arched her back as he entered her, crying out his name. His fingers thrust rapidly, despite the tightness of her. She quietly muttered his name repeatedly as his thumb reached up to caress the hot button of her clitoris. He felt the warm rush of her climax even before she managed to whisper his name one last time. He held her gently until the trembling stopped then carefully disentangled his fingers from her.
"Buffy?"
She sighed happily and snuggled against his chest. "Giles, that was wonderful."
"That was just the beginning." He lifted her as he stood and lay her back on the kitchen table. He gazed down at her sprawled figure, his eyes glazed with alcohol and passion, his voice deep with promise. "Unless you want me to stop."
"No." She shook her head, causing her blonde hair to riot across the table. "Please, no."
He slipped his hands underneath her skirt and grasped the damp satin, sliding it off of her. Depositing the panties on the floor, he used one hand to spread her legs and the other to unfasten his belt and fly. Buffy raised herself up on her elbows and watched him as he pushed his pants and boxers down. His cock sprang free and she gasped.
"Wow. I'm…wow."
He ignored her comments, rubbing the length of his shaft with fingers still damp from her climax. She watched him, fascinated. Moving closer to the edge of the table, she lifted her skirt, exposing herself to him.
"I can think of something that might feel better than your hand."
Giles looked up at her and smiled. Spreading her lips with his fingers, he pressed the tip of his erection against her welcoming opening. With an easy thrust, he slipped deep inside her. She moaned as she adjusted to his considerable size, her tight passage clenching around him.
"God, Giles. You're so…you feel…so…"
He thrust again, harder this time. She moaned, wrapping her legs around him, the hard flesh of his ass pressed firmly against her shins. She pulled him toward her, using her considerable leg muscles to push him further inside her.
Giles let her guide their pace and rhythm, his mind ceasing to function. He didn't want to think of what he was doing. He didn't want to picture the face of the woman he was betraying. He didn't want to think of what was going to happen next.
"Giles?" Buffy grunted his name softly. He met her eyes and felt a charge go through him. His thoughts, such as they were, disappeared and the world narrowed down to the woman writhing beneath him. She felt it too, and all her strength seemed sapped from her. "Giles?" This time the question was far more frightened than impassioned.
"It's all right. It's just the Ritual taking effect. Your strength will be back in a moment." He continued moving inside her, only more slowly now. He smiled down at her, noting the damp tendrils of hair that clung to her face. "Feel it?"
It was like being in a Jacuzzi. Overwhelming heat suffused her limbs and she felt like Jell-O for a moment. Then, in an instant, the strength was back and she was tightening her legs and pressing against him in wild abandon.
Giles grasped the edge of the table and held himself upright as their bodies met in hard, almost painful, jerks. Her legs crushed him, holding him tightly against her as the first wave of her orgasm hit her. Moving her legs up to his hips, she pushed herself closer.
He kept moving, his thrusts speeding up until she was whimpering with pleasure and release. She trembled uncontrollably as he pushed her past the sensation of excitement into sensual overload. "Oh, please, please, stop." She begged.
He continued thrusting for a moment longer until his body went rigid and he climaxed with a groan of pure relief. His knees were weak and he collapsed on top of her. "Are you all right?" He asked after a long moment.
"Think so." She took a deep breath and unhooked her legs from around his. "You?"
"Yes." He managed to stand and pulled away from her. Taking a deep breath, he managed to meet her eyes.
"What happens now?" She sat up, her limbs still shaky. He helped her down from the table. "Do we…are we…is it any different now?"
His green eyes seemed haunted. "I don't know."
"Do you feel different?"
"There was a moment when all I saw was you. And it scared the hell out of me." He adjusted his pants and refastened them. "She was completely out of my mind. And you were my world." He turned away from her, a sob shaking his body.
"Giles…Giles, I'm sorry…I…"
"Don't apologize Buffy. It's not your fault that you've ruined my relationship with Willow and I'll now be forced to spend my life with you."
Her head snapped up and she stared at him, wide-eyed. "What?"
"How can I face her again? How could she forgive this? Perhaps it's just as well she lost that baby so that she wouldn't have to raise my bastard child alone."
"Giles?" Her voice trembled with tears. "Why are you saying these things? Why does this happen every time I have sex?"
"Must be you, love." He walked away from her. "How could you do this to your best friend? What kind of a friend are you, Buffy?" He turned around and morphed into Willow. Her accusing green eyes seemed to penetrate her. "How could you do this, Buffy? Don't I mean anything to you?"
"Stop it."
"Maybe if he'd said that to you, you would have listened? But we both know that isn't true, don't we?"
"Willow, please."
"Willow please. Giles please. Do you always beg to get what you want?"
"Stop it!" she screamed, startling herself awake.
Looking quickly around the room, she took a deep breath and tried to control her breathing. Giles and Xander rushed into the office immediately, stopping at the doorway. "Are you all right, Buffy?"
She nodded. "Bad dream."
Giles sighed. "Prophetic?"
"No. Definitely not prophetic." She smiled weakly. "So not prophetic."
He walked over to her and sat next to her on the couch. "Are you sure you're all right?"
"Giles? I think you need to go see Willow and let her know how much you love her. And I want you to know that whatever I said about maybe going through with this ritual for Willow sake…well, pretend the words never passed my lips."
"It was a prophecy dream, wasn't it?" His ire rose as he realized she was trying not to tell him. "Damn it, Buffy, if it's important for Willow's safety…"
"Giles. Go see her. I swear that's the most important thing in my dream." Her blue eyes pleaded with him and he nodded. Standing up, he grabbed his jacket and car keys. "I'll be back in the morning."
Xander went to Buffy's side as Giles left. "What really happened in the dream, Buffy?"
"I ruined his life. And hers." She sighed. "Even more than I already have."
"Hey, none of that. The dream gave you an answer, which is more than my dreams do. My dreams leave me with a…" he blushed and stopped speaking. "Well, I'm going to do some more research."
Buffy laughed and followed him out into the main room. "I think I'll help you. I think I would much prefer to dream a little dream of demons and not of…" it was her turn to blush and she did so magnificently.
Xander laughed and hugged her. "Don't worry, Buffy. You're secret's safe with me. For now."